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poetry improv... GO!
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Witch Baby



Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 325
Location: hereinmyhead (Canada)

PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2003 12:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

that was beautiful adam, had such a nice flow
what a poetic soul!
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Fri Dec 05, 2003 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

very nice adam Smile i like it
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backpacker



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Dec 06, 2003 9:55 pm    Post subject: is it just me? Reply with quote

you, stopping the pain of time
the setting sun through the smoke
treading innocently through frozen pastures
expecting to find the immortal lake
the one that changes life
and impairs the stopping light
technically through desperate compassion
only broke by solitude and silence
dripping gracefully from your hands
the water ripples across the horizon
and distorts the face i see
changing my perspecive of this dream
and causing me to think
is it just me?


-------------------------------------
:pupeyes:
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Witch Baby



Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 325
Location: hereinmyhead (Canada)

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh my god greg, i love it
i wanna cry now it was so beautiful
ahhh!!
the end bit is so perfect
"the water ripples across the horizon
and distorts the face i see
changing my perspecive of this dream
and causing me to think
is it just me? "

gah!!!!!! so good*wipes away tear*
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow. greg, man, that's....wow.
*too impressed for words*
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2003 1:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

fragments of time slip by
like sand through my fingers
time is almost up.

at a loss for words
and filled with a lack
of life, of drive, of caring
for nothing that happens
between now and then.

a solitary figure
sits, motionless
hidden from sight but yet
is in plain view,
watching the world pass by

wondering
is it all worth it
will it pay off in the end.
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backpacker



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2003 2:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh, wow. i thought it was nice, but i didn't think it was that nice. ConfusedCool

very very impressive sara Smile i hear ya. times going by, and its never going to come back the same as before.
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Sun Dec 07, 2003 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks greg Smile
i might delete that one actually. i dunno if i like it enough to leave it here.
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AdamL



Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Posts: 220

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Make me strong enough to leave....

and I'll jump out of this old skin.
Faster than imagined
we'll be chasing down the sunset.

Tell me that I'm good enough....

and I'll hang on every word.
Feel your confidence course through me
like the mightiest of rivers.

Push me to the limit....

and I'll take two steps beyond it.
Hanging toes over the ledge
I'll smile at the mystery below.

Empower me....
Convince me....
Challenge me....

and I'll trust you to the end.
****************************
When I started to write this, I thought that this was me talking to a certain someone. As I got into it though, I realized that it was me talking to myself......I know its strange, but kind of cool how that happened.

Oh and Sara, I wish you wouldn't delete that. I really liked it Smile
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

funny how the meaning of writing can change halfway through, isn't it? its cool though Smile
glad you liked my thing, but i haven't decided if i should delete it or just fix it up.
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backpacker



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2003 9:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

adam,

if you turn it into a song, i can picture corey singing that very very well. it really is great. Smile
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Witch Baby



Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 325
Location: hereinmyhead (Canada)

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

siren, a pleasure as always in your writing
and adam again i am impressed, very nice stuff
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thanks Smile
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Witch Baby



Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 325
Location: hereinmyhead (Canada)

PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

you, the quietest soilder breaking bonds
marching home
away from the old river
ice and glass to sail you to and fro
what is it that you and your battles are made from?
neither lost nor won
we let you down
what is it you and your battles want?
neither friend nor foe
you let me down
suppose there never was a war
what would i learn from you
what would become of me
would we ever live without these breaths
inhibiting this wind
gasping for life
before we took any of the air in

invision this: treading for hours
to find nothing is where you left it
no one will let you come in
this is what they taught you
just look at where you've been
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AdamL



Joined: 29 Sep 2003
Posts: 220

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2003 7:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you all for the kind words. Its been a long time since I've written any sort of poetry, and it really is great to have a place to do it so freely.

Another outstanding poem, Adele. I liked it a lot!
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backpacker



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2003 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

adéle, its fantastic Smile so symbolic.
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backpacker



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Wed Dec 10, 2003 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

invalid time
invokes explicit memories
that translates power
and transgresses people
seperating happiness
and disrupting the feed
that blankets my mind
in the usual means

but i shift forward
flipping through my options
watching the subtitles that flow by
like those of modest recognition
forcing me to choose what more than me
do i reach out and seek
whatever that's bothering me
yet i learn to define awkward state
by standing back from that which pains me
knowing i have a chance to spring that trap
but the colorblindness fools me, camoflauged
i can't tell what is there at all
so i tread carefully
as i flip through the channes
being sure not to be influenced from the panic stricken sorrows
we call "friends" and the truth
so to me, should i unplug
or keep thes boundaries
and let me relax in my chair
so tell me what you want, woman
instead of me speculating about you.



---------------------
i know the second to last line was slightly harsh, but yea.

edit: spelling mistakes fixed Smile
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backpacker



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Sat Dec 13, 2003 10:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

slient boundaries,
exist only in noisy situations.
touch problems arise,
duning numbing times.
black and white answers
don't come from colorful questions.
heavy burdens only came,
as the light issues were thrown away.
time flowed ever so gracefully,
as our relationship stood still.

but the taste of blood,
seems ever so sweet.
a sour contrast,
from the feelings i speak.
as i shout for forgiveness and friendship,
not a word escapes your mouth.
but i see yourself running away,
drowning in a sea of problems.
i want to reach my hand out for you,
and help pull you from your mess.
but you stubbornly defy,
accepting defeat too many times.



------------------
it gets choppy at the end, but purposly.
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Sun Jan 04, 2004 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i woke up and found this in my journal. apparently i wrote it when i was trashed out of my face.


i'm not what you seem to be wanting
me more and more to be like you
running away from it all and trying to
get away, turn away, start over
begin again
find myself without you
alone but alive
maybe happy for once in my sad simple life
that you've tried to own and control
but all to no avail i've seen what
you want me to be and that's not
who i am or want to become
miles will divide us
time will separate us
but will we be closer or more better off
without each other to bother, control
or decieve or destroy
the mental walls that i've built up
over the many years of pain and
my silence and sorrow of hiding myself and my
hurt so that you would think
life was the picture you wanted it to be
not the mess that you've got
and the failure you have



i have no idea where it came from. i don't remember writing it but its there in my writing, so i guess i did.
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Witch Baby



Joined: 26 Jul 2003
Posts: 325
Location: hereinmyhead (Canada)

PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2004 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stranded (make me believe)

you know that i'd change it all
but that wouldn't be right
that just wouldn't be me
and I've lived too little to say what were my greatest mistakes
and I need a little time longer until i find
where i should be
where it is I'll find my place
so they say they've found a way
to make it to the next living day
but I'm still stuck, found a makeshift dream
a shelter, a raft, whatever it is I need
to make me hold on and believe
why didn't you make me believe?
how could you lose your grip
your share of the strength
you left me with nothing
but a tattered sail and this mess


-just wrote this now, meh
but i guess thats what improv is all about dont know whats gonna pop outta yer mouth

nice stuff g-man, hope you can find what you're looking for
and siren that is some interesting writing, especially that you don't remember writingit
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Oblivion



Joined: 24 Jul 2003
Posts: 224
Location: Wonderland!!!

PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2004 8:19 pm    Post subject: . Reply with quote

.nmb

Last edited by Oblivion on Sat Jan 31, 2004 6:21 pm; edited 1 time in total
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backpacker



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1151

PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2004 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Witch Baby wrote:


-just wrote this now, meh
but i guess thats what improv is all about dont know whats gonna pop outta yer mouth

nice stuff g-man, hope you can find what you're looking for
and siren that is some interesting writing, especially that you don't remember writingit



adéle, you rock. i love the comparison of raft as a impartial dream (or thats the impression i got). lovely stuff.

and thanks. most of my poetry is now online on my website. http://www.xipia.org/poetry.php
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Happymelody



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 477
Location: Sometimes Seatte, sometimes not

PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2004 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is there still a creative seed in me?

Slowly building a wall

it came upon me suddenly

weeds want to grow tall

suffocate suffocate me

three long years my soul on hold

with morter in place

cement shoes carry dreams sold

skagit valley tulips bloom

when april warmth extends

kisses on red petal costumes.

smelling temptation, i want to know

do I have anything left to grow?
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siren



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 1073
Location: halifax

PostPosted: Sun Jan 18, 2004 5:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*is QUITE impressed!*
wow. that's fuckin cool!!
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Happymelody



Joined: 23 Jul 2003
Posts: 477
Location: Sometimes Seatte, sometimes not

PostPosted: Tue Jan 20, 2004 10:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

thank you sara!! I'm glad you like it! Very Happy
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